Before reading any further, I must bring to your attention a warning that I posted when I started Feelms. I will be posting about movies that touch on a very broad range of subjects, many of which will offend a lot of people. If you are concerned about being offended, now is your chance to go to your favorites menu option and surf away from the land of weirdness that makes up the following post.

Still with me? Pervert! (and that includes you Princess Snow Pea!)

Hump Fest 5, was an incredibly fun, although sometimes disturbing, collection of short amateur porn films. The premise is that some very rough guidelines are put out there like max length of film (5 mins) and some bonus points were awarded if the film makers used particular props or shot at specified locales. Some of the props this time included Mormon underwear, a pink slip and some local food called Applets and Cutlets. The locales were located in both Seattle and Portland as the Rose City was invited to submit their own contributions as well. After watching all of the entries that made the final cut, all of the viewing audience was asked to vote on the sexiest and the funniest.

The films started off on a hilarious note as three naked people (two ladies and one guy) performed a very nicely choreographed dance to a Beyonce tune. The guy had a great attitude and had the crowd howling! I was wondering before the show, just how porn the films would be. The first one wasn’t that hardcore, more just funny naked dancing people. Film two pretty much let you know this was a hardcore porn film festival as a young guy from Portland was documented doing his Johnny Appleseed imitation, only it wasn’t Apple seed he was leaving everywhere as he tried to pleasure himself as many times as possible in a 24 hour period.

From there it was just a hilarious, sexy, disturbing romp through just about every variation of sex acts you could imagine. Some of the highlights for me were the Larry King interview, Saran Wrap 50s spot, Beyond Gay and the Opening Dance film.

This just in! The voting results have been published and all four of the films I mentioned before made it into the awards. Funniest – 1st: Beyond Gay, 2nd: How to Please Your Man (the Larry King interview), 3rd: Dance Belt     Sexiest – 1st: The Modern Housewife (Saran Wrap), 2nd: Cyclust, 3rd: Trolley Tryst.

Like I said when I started Feelms. There may be things I enjoy watching that I wouldn’t be able to recommend to many people and Hump Fest certainly fits that category very well.

Bill

The Dinner Game is a delightful lighthearted French comedy, that still manages to pack some social commentary punch.

Pierre Brochant and a group of his affluent friends host a weeky dinner party where each of them try to one up each other and bring the biggest idiot. Pierre thinks he has a winner in Francois Pignon and invites Francois to his house before the dinner party to get to know him. Between the invitation and the dinner party. Pierre hurts his back and decides he can’t go to the party this week, but can’t get to Francois in time to stop him from coming over. When Francois shows up at his house and tries to ‘help’ him, the hilarity ensues.

Francois is a lovable loser, who turns out to have some incredibly insightful views on life and love. His claim to fame is his matchstick replicas of great feats in architecture like the Golden Gate Bridge and the Eiffel Tower. Pierre’s day starts off with him thinking he has the winning idiot and then the days goes downhill from there, to the point he realizes he is the idiot, not Francois.

Francois’ performance reminds me of one of Peter Seller’s great roles in The Party, where despite their good intentions, everything they touch turns out wrong.

Enjoy

Bill

A Very Long Engagement (2004) Director: Jean-Pierre Jeunet

You may know this director from his work with Marc Caro on films such as “Delicatessen”, “City of Lost Children”, and “Amelie”.   This time, without Marc Caro, Jeunet takes a bit of a different path with his film, but still manages to mix the whimsy and the horrific without missing a beat.

Our story takes place around World War 1.   Audrey Tatou  (Amelie), who will eventually not be able to get away with playing 20 year olds (but not yet), is a crippled young girl, Mathilde, whose fiancée has gone off to war.  Despite all reports and signs that say that her fiancée, Manech, has been killed, she refuses to give up hope and launches an all out search for him.

Now, Mathilde lives with her aunt & uncle, since her parents were killed when she was a baby & then she contracted polio, but she still manages to get around fairly well.   She was made fun of at school by the other children because she was crippled, so she became very shy until a neighbor boy, Manech, managed to befriend her.

Now, it seems that Manech was part of a group of men that were to be executed for self-mutilation, that is, maiming yourself so you could be sent home from the front.  These scenes are quite inventive and are presented in a VERY darkly humorous manner.   But instead of being executed, this group of men were set loose in “no-man’s land” to fend for themselves, and while some witnesses that Mathilde manages to track down say they saw Manech killed, she eventually finds one that seems to think he was spared somehow.   

Mathilde never refuses to give up hope, and  she relies on certain little games that we’ve all participated in at some time in our lives, like, if she counts to 7 before a train enters a tunnel then everything will be all right, etc.    She also hires a private detective, Germain Pire (as played by the late Ticky Holgado, a staple in previous Jeunet & Caro films) to help her.

There is, however, another twist to things, like a prostitute named Tina who is out for blood, because one of the men supposedly killed was her man, or one of them, anyway. – maybe her favorite, I don’t know.  She has painstakingly tracked down the officers responsible for the execution of these men & has managed to do them in in amusingly creative (but nasty) ways.  

I have to say that while I knew this movie was by half the team that did some movies that I really love, I avoided it for a long time because it just didn’t look like it would be that good, and it’s sort of a romance, but not really.    I was very wrong in my assumption, and I’m quite glad I finally watched it, because I wasn’t at all disappointed.   Recommended!

Well, it took close to a year, but with the posting of a small blurb for the movie, The Cabinet of Dr Caligari, all 28 “five e” feelms have write-ups created by either myself or my co-conspirator, Sam. I would be curious to hear from any of you regarding how many of these 28 pieces of cinema obscurity you have seen.

As far as what’s next on this blog, I think I will create a list of all of the movies I have seen that I think would qualify as a feelm, even though they didn’t make it my “five e” feeeeelmiest of the feelm list.

Take care and stay tuned.

Bill

Want to know what a Tim Burton movie would have looked like had he made a silent movie filmed in 1920 in Germany? Give the Cabinet of Dr. Caligari a whirl. This movie defines creepy and you can see so much of its influence on Burton’s work, in particular all of the scenes from hell in Beetlejuice.

The movie centers around a mental patients telling of a story of Dr. Caligari and his sideshow freak Somnambulist (sleep walker) and the rash of murders that seem to accompany them every where they go. The movie plays on your perceptions of reality and is a visual eye candy feast for its imagery. One repeating scene that I like is the way the people in the government agency that Caligari keeps visiting sit all stooped over in their weird, incredibly uncomfortable stools.

I have a fondness for movies that provide a visual stunning experience and I frequently use them as “background visual noise” when I have a social gathering. This movie would fit the bill just fine.

Enjoy

Bill

From the makers of South Park, Trey Parker and Matt Stone comes the incredibly inappropriate and even more incredibly funny, Team America. It is hard for me to type Team America and not want to complete the chorus from the theme song with a F**k Yeah!

This movie makes fun of everything and everyone. Every time I watch it I find something else to laugh at. For any parents considering letting your children watch, “The Puppet Show”, you have been warned, this is an adult movie, in fact it should be rated X even though it is a puppet show.

This movie takes aim squarely at the Bush years of America and hits it square between the eyes. Yea were fighting terrorists at any cost dammit! It will be interesting to see what Parker and Stone come up for their parody of Obama.

Enjoy

Bill

I found it interesting that the next movie I was to review on my five e feelm list was Shallow Grave, the cinematic directorial debut of Mr. Danny Boyle, whose most recent effort, Slumdog Millionaire just ran off will all of the Oscars, including Best Director and Best Picture at the Academy Awards. Most people will label Boyle as the Trainspotting guy and rightly so, but I have enjoyed some of his lesser known works like Millions and Shallow Grave.

In Shallow Grave, three friends and roommates must decide on a course of action when a new fourth roommate turns up dead and to complicate matters, leaves a suitcase full of money behind.

The movie is dark, gruesome, hilarious and thought-provoking. A younger Ewan McGregor stars, but I think the best performance is put in by Christopher Eccelston who appears to be the sane one at the beginning of the dilemma, but comes unhinged the quickest. His scenes from the attic as he frantically drills holes in the attic floor to keep tabs on the other two roomates are priceless.

How well do you know your friends?

Enjoy

Bill

Mister Lonely – 2007 director Harmony Korine Diego

Luna plays “Michael Jackson”, an impersonator living in Paris, just scraping by and living a very solitary life by performing for spare change and the occasional gig at an old folks home. At one such gig, he meets “Marilyn Monroe” (Samantha Morton), and she tells him of a commune made up of people just like them, which is in a remote area of Scotland. Since “Michael” hasn’t got much better to do, he agrees to go live with them, since they don’t have a Michael yet.

Now, Marilyn is married to Charlie Chaplin (who apparently used to be Buster Keaton) and they have a daughter, Shirley Temple. Also living in the commune are a foul-mouthed Abe Lincoln, The Three Stooges, Queen Elizabeth, The Pope, Madonna, Sammy David Junior, James Dean, and even…Buckwheat. There’s also Little Red Riding Hood (played by Korine’s wife) but that doesn’t really seem to fit as I wasn’t aware Little Red Riding Hood was ever a real person, but in this film, that doesn’t matter much.

You would think with that sort of premise & the cast that this would be some kind of goofy comedy and these people would be presented as “freaks”. They’re not. These people have such a passion for what they’re doing that they’ve “become” these people, in their minds, and they’re among friends with the same mindset.

Of course, these people go through trials and tribulations of life just like anyone else. There’s jealousy, there’s sadness, and there’s tragedy as the commune’s sheep have to be killed off because of disease. And of course, there’s the Three Stooges, with rifles, doing what needs to be done with grim faces.

The commune decides to build a stage and a performing hall and invite the locals to “The Greatest Show On Earth” where they all perform as their alter-egos, and while the cast is certainly enthusiastic about their production, the locals aren’t, and attendance is sparse. Then tragedy strikes as one of the members takes their own life, after which Michael decides to return to his old life in Paris.

Interspersed with the commune’s story (and seemingly unrelated to anything else) are some segments of a priest (played by director Werner Herzog) who seems to have found a miracle while flying his small private plane over a remote area dropping food, and by accident, a nun. The nun miraculously survives her fall from the plane so Herzog begins to take more nuns up to “stunt dive” and they all survive. This gains him and this particular order of nuns an audience with The Pope (the real one) and the film ends on an incredibly ironic note with the outcome of their journey.

Interesting casting choices in this film too, as there are two members of the cast from “Performance” (1970) playing The Pope (James Fox) and The Queen (Anita Pallenberg, former “Rolling Stones” girlfriend).

This is not a film for everyone but it is quite a departure from Korine’s earlier films (Julien Donkey Boy & Gummo). It’s incredibly strange, beautiful, and even a bit touching, and after you’ve watched it you’ll either wonder why or you’ll marvel at its oddness.

Christmas On Mars – 2008 – Director Wayne Coyne

I’m not really fan of the Flaming Lips, although I have heard their music for years. When I read about this, though, I had to have it, because I have rather a big passion for non-traditional Christmas films (mostly horror) and this sounded very appealing.   And I found that I liked it a lot.

It’s Christmas eve on Mars at the isolated settlement where an expedition is housed, and the personnel there are suffering from cabin fever, and starting to see things, and become unbalanced. Along comes a rather strange being (Wayne Coyne, singer & songwriter of Flaming Lips) who appears out of nowhere just as a suicidal Santa runs out of Hatch Number 1 of the building, who of course meets with a horrible death, thanks to no oxygen.   What’s left of Santa is dragged back in, along with the Martian, who speaks not a word and is stoic throughout his questioning by the redneck commanding officer.   The biggest concern with the recently deceased (and now rather ghastly) Santa is getting the suit off him without ruining it.

Apparently one crew member is in charge of putting together a Christmas event for the rest of the crew, and the Martian is eventually volunteered to wear the Santa suit.  Strangely, the Martian does not respond to the commanding officer but meekly dons the Santa suit and follows the other crew member wherever he goes.

There’s a lot of strange things going on within this little colony, and there are equipment failures and crew members with degenerating mental states to deal with, but the benevolent Martian ends up wandering around by himself, and manages to repair the malfunctioning equipment which would have otherwise resulted in the demise of the entire expedition.

This is mostly filmed in black & white but some of the “psychedelic” color sequences are pretty interesting, and could be right out of some groovy 60’s or 70’s film, despite the fact that the viewer rarely knows what they’re supposed to be seeing during these scenes.

There seem to be quite a few influences for this, and I was put in mind of “Dark Star”, “Solaris” (the Russian one), “Eraserhead”, “2001″, and “Tetsuo The Iron Man”. The acting isn’t the greatest but that doesn’t really detract from the overall viewing experience. There’s quite a bit of dark humor to this too. I was quite impressed, overall, and this even manages to have a rather magical and mysterious feel to it, and even a relatively upbeat ending.   

Apparently this film took about 7 years to complete, and the actors are mostly members of The Flaming Lips, their friends, and families. If you like cheesy science fiction & non-traditional type Christmas films then check this out, I found it to be a rather fun and interesting experience & well worth seeing. Not for the kiddies though, by any means…a few gruesome scenes & plenty of language.   Overall though, well done and well worth checking out.

Sam 

REPO!   A Genetic Opera

OK….for those that have been waiting for something to finally eclipse “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” as the next timeless cult midnight movie, well, keep waiting, because I don’t think that this one will quite do it.

Now, I’ve seen “Rocky Horror Picture Show” at midnight showings, at the old Cinema 150 in Santa Clara, CA (along with Bill & some others), and people REALLY got into it, and there were even people acting out the entire film in front of the screen, too.   I really can’t see that happening with this film.   The songs are catchy and maybe it’s from continual airplay over the years, but I can still hear “Let’s Do the Time Warp Again” in my head, every once in a while, and I didn’t really find anything quite that contagious in “Repo!”.

The story is that of a future society, where there’s been a huge plague and many have died.   To survive a lot of people have undergone organ transplants, thanks to mega-company GeneCo, run by one Rotti Largo (Paul Sorvino).    The problem is, though, is that these organ transplants are really expensive, and if one doesn’t keep up with their payments, well, the Repo Man shows up to take your organs back.    And this seems to happen quite often, ick.

A young girl named Shilo has been confined to her home for many years, thanks to a blood disease she inherited from her mother, who is long deceased.   Her father is a kindly doctor, who loves her more than anything, but he also has a rather disturbing alter ego as one of these Repo Men, and he seems to love his work.

Now, Rotti Largo has found out that he’s dying and he must decide who will take over GeneCo when he’s gone.   Will it be son Luigi (Bill Mosely, who has extreme anger issues)?    Will it be Amber Sweet (Paris Hilton, who has some extreme substance abuse and cosmetic surgery issues)?  Or will it be  Pavi (Nivek Ogre, from Skinny Puppy, who is a creepy womanizer)?    None of them is exactly the bedrock of mental health, but that never seems to be an issue in this film.

Then there’s The Graverobber, a young man who sneaks around graveyards at night to remove a certain chemical from dead bodies and manufactures it into a highly addictive and illegal drug, which is mostly illegal because it takes away from GeneCo’s profits.

This is actually a very well done film, and the music is great, but it’s not quite as memorable as I would like.   The film is clever, the film is nasty, and it’s a great midnight movie, and a cult-classic to come, I’d say, but it’s certainly not “the next” Rocky Horror Picture Show.    A lot of fun and worth seeing.   And don’t be frightened that Paris Hilton is in this, she’s watchable & tolerable for once. 

Sam